"God's word has always been there" that was the response to my question as a first time mother of all the 'what if's' of raising my child. For you that have had children you may be able to relate. It is so strange how the mind changes after having your own child.
I was always told in my older years of being young, and my couple years of being a nanny, and a few more years of teaching children of how good I was with them and how I would make a wonderful mother. I totally agreed with their comments at the time and appreciated the boost in confidence in how I could raise my own child. Not to blow my own horn but, I did agree that I was going to make a pretty awesome parent. But I think pregnancy, breast feeding ,and other motherly hormones completely disregarded any type of pre-self that I had thought myself to be. (Funny how that is).
All of a sudden I was not good enough, all of a sudden I did not know what to do, I did not know what to say. I was so confident with everyone else's child. I knew how I wanted them to behave and turn out and how they should act and I knew how to get them to do that. I knew how to answer their questions and how to discipline. Parents of these children would ask me how I got them to respond to me in that way or to behave how they ought. My thought was always "It's simple. I just...." (this is where you experienced parents laugh at the 'it's simple' remark. Because it is not simple). When it comes to your own kids, why is it that you feel like a failure. You feel like you do not have the right answers, that you cannot teach them everything that they need to know. How can you possibly teach them everything they need to know. Until you have your own child the weight of how and who they become does not truly fall on you. But when it is your own, something changes. It is not that you necessarily care less for all of the other children in your life, but more so, the reality of your actions and choices come to life and the affect it has on others.
My daughter is 18 months now, and my father kindly and lovingly snickered at me as we met for coffee one morning and I expressed my motherly concerns of "what if I cannot answer my daughter's theological questions about life? What if my answer isn't good enough?" Though I do not think that an age is too young to start teaching truth, stressing about my 18 month old and theological debates on life and truth is probably not something to concern myself with quite yet.
This is when my father answered "God's word has always been there. If there is any belief in any part of the bible that you start to teach her such as In the begining God created, then there was sin at the tree, a flood, and the tower of Bable where languages were created, Abraham, and ISaac, John the Baptist, Jesus at the cross, Peter, Paul, God's grace, and so one and so forth... Then you must believe that God's word has always been there."
Such a simple answer.
He was so calm in his answer, so confident. After his years of experience in raising his own children and what that looked like and meant; there was such a peace, confidence, and comfort in him to know, that GOd's word has always been there. Life can be hard, and it will most likely hurt, but God's word has been, is, and will be forever there.
I know that this will not be an "ah ha!" moment for all that read this, but I hope that one day your "ah-ha!" moment will come. I have confidently been saved for 25 years and have known God's word rightly divided for 17 years and still have 'ah-ha!' moments.
I am thankful for those that hold fast to God's word and provide strength for those who are not as strong. Thank you for the grace that you show. Peace and love and hope in seeing you soon.
